I’ve been Twitter friends with Ainslie Hunter since…well, I don’t even know when! Soon after BlogWorld 2010 last fall, and I believe it was the lovely Jade Craven who was the mutual link. We became fast friends over our love of Glee, and in a few days, I’m excited to meet Ainslie face-to-face for the first time. Yay!
When BlogWorld started accepting submissions for speaker proposals, I was glad to hear that Ainslie was going to submit one. I personally don’t have any control over which proposals get chosen, but I sent a quick note telling the whole BlogWorld team how much I enjoy her blog’s topic, her proposed session, and her, just as a person.
Ainslie’s proposal was not chosen.
Like I said, I don’t have control over the people who are chosen. Heck, I don’t even see the submissions (and that’s fine with me – what a tough job). I don’t know why Ainslie’s proposal was turned down. Every year, BlogWorld has to turn down amazing speakers. Sometimes there’s another speaker who proposes the same thing but has more experience. Sometimes , the track is filled and the presentation doesn’t really fit in. Sometimes…well, a million reasons could keep a great speaker from being accepted. Ask Deb Ng if you want to know more. It takes to so to pick speakers not just because of the volume of proposals to read but because it’s a hard job to pick between awesome sessions.
Ainslie, upon reading her rejection, had two choices, right? Get mad or get even!
Those are, after all, the choices I’ve seen others take. Some rejected speakers got mad, privately or publicly. I’m not talking “I’m upset that I didn’t make it” or “I’m mad at myself” or even “I think they were wrong.” I’m talking “BLEEPITY BLEEP, BLOGWORLD, YOU BLEEPERS. BLEEEEEEEP!”
Some rejected speakers get even. They use the rejection as motivation to do better, be better, prove us wrong. It’s not really a terrible way to go, but it’s fueled by the same thing – anger.
So instead, I’d like to propose that there’s a third choice. Don’t get mad. Don’t get even. Do something awesome.
Ainslie showed me that. When she read her her rejection, she didn’t rant on social media or her blog about how wrong we were. She didn’t go into a product creation frenzy, trying to prove that we made a bad choice, getting even with us in some way. She did this.
That’s right, Ainslie said, “Oh well, maybe next year” and released all of the information that would have gone on her blog for free for her readers. She’s attending BlogWorld in full force and has continued to support the conference even more than some of the people who were chosen as speakers have.
Now, this is not a post about how I think you should support BlogWorld no matter what, or even how you should be okay with every bad things that happens to you and your blog. You shouldn’t. But you don’t have to get mad. You don’t have to get even. You can turn whatever negativity happened into something awesome.
The ripple effect is that Ainslie has a really cool promotional tool that she can talk about when she meets people in New York. The ripple effect is that the BlogWorld team feels a connection with Ainslie and is sincerely hoping to cross paths with her – and I can’t speak for the rest of the team, but I for one won’t hesitate to recommend her in the future. The ripple effect is that people want to help her because she comes from a place of positivity.
The ripple effect could happen for you too. Again, this isn’t about BlogWorld. What it is about is learning to take the bad things that happen, any bad thing, and make them good. A lot of people think the “get even” option is the good option, but if you’re only creating a product or writing a post or whatever to prove someone wrong, are you really pursuing your passion? Or are you just stroking your ego, protecting your pride? Is what you’re doing coming from a place of good or a place of bad?
We’re all hurt sometimes, and we all get defensive sometimes. Heck, maybe it’s even rightfully so. But when things are out of your hands, when people say no to you or don’t believe in you, nothing you can do will change that. Shed your tears, punch a wall…and then move on. Yes, even if it wasn’t fair. Negativity can eat you up from the inside out if you let it. I should know; I’ve been there.
Do awesome. Be awesome. I know that everyone out there is capable…more than capable… of it.When someone says no to you, when something bad happens, they can’t be any more of a roadblock than you become to yourself. Instead, simply learn from the experience, and keep on keepin’ on. That’s what makes a successful blogger, after all – the willingness to learn and the drive to succeed.